‘Your computer is not connected to the internet’

Standard
Or not.

Or not.

How untrue.

Dear internet, I tell you, I’m always connected to the internet. It’s just the awesome skill of my network in staying off the radar that you’re not being able to detect me at all. You see, my modem likes to keep me safe from the cyber-demons, as it truly loves me to the point of death!

It’s not super-slow. In fact, it’s super-smart, because it saves me data. It teaches me what patience is. Very soon… it might even teach me to break my laptop and walk away. And… to eventually become a hermit. And, for the love of internet, I might as well begin my preparations for becoming one.

Desperate for a good connection,

The blogger who owns a cobweb-filled, rotten, untended ol’ blog, thanks to her nasty internet.

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