Fly

Like the high clouds

I want to soar

So I could reach you,

So I could touch you,

So that I could see

Where you reside

In the sky

Like a King,

Where I can be the queen,

Where I get 

To love you forever,

To laugh like there’s no tomorrow,

Lean on your broad shoulders,

Let the tears of pain flow,

Let the happiness sink in

Until it reaches

The mighty ocean below

Into which I shall jump,

To get precious pearls

To adorn you with;

And when I look up,

I will yearn for you

And only you,

And will wait

In this life and the next

For you

To come down to me,

And set me free with you,

Into the sky

Where we can fly

Without a care.

And the moon would never come down.

That guilt

​All day

I think of you,

Deep in my thoughts

In my every action,

As I find guilt

Crawling forward

And stopping that smile

Halfway,

Pushing away

All things happy,

As I know

I was never good enough;

I know,

I’ve been fighting

For a lost cause;

I think of you

Who’s in pain,

Who needs me

And yet never admits;

I want to do all that I can,

Breaking this wall

Of ego

As the daughterly love,

As creepy as it can be

Fills in 

The air around you,

Disentangling you

From the web of loneliness

That you’re trapped in;

Don’t be afraid

To hold my hand,

And walk in the dark.

Know that I could do anything

Just anything

To make your everyday life

Better.

The lonely tree

Like the lonely tree

That tried to survive

The scorching sun

Of the south,

I see you

As you struggle, as your leaves fall,

One by one

And yet, you never lean

Onto someone.

Like the pitiful, undernourished tree

You need love,

Care,

You have to open up,

Take in the air around you,

And cherish every little breath

So you don’t perish

In this desert

Where you will never be found again,

Where you will be eaten whole.

Do not trudge away,

Lean on me, I shall support you,

Do not walk away

To an unknown place

Because no one else cares

About you, father,

Like I do.

The daughter who never cared

​I wake up from a cozy bed,

Miles away, you wake up from the ground;

I idle around for a while,

Overcoming your tiredness, you stand;

I get dressed and walk to gym

You start with your daily chores;

I get ready to office,

Without even the strength to stand, you cook;

I go sit in a fully air conditioned place,

You’re done in the afternoon.

I eat lunch,

You eat your breakfast-cum-lunch;

I go back to my cozy cubicle,

You still have work to do.

And with your injured leg,

You do all of this,

As I enjoy my life

As if you’re​ not at all suffering,

As if this feeling of guilt

Never exists,

As if I never feel like coming back home

To help you,

To do all the work,

To let you relax,

To make your daily life…

A bit more easier.

I never am blessed

With the gift

Of serving you,

Taking care of you,

And I stand in utter shame

As I am unable

To make your daily life…

A bit more easier.

Will I ever

Get to rest in peace?

This is in the POV of Ms.K, the neighbour I’d always observe and write about. She and her father had a fight yesterday, and she was shouting so loud that I could hear what it was about. She lives alone in a different place, and had come to visit her parents yesterday. Their father is very simple, and yet egoistic. So is she. Theirs is one ego-filled family, for sure.

Independent

Dedicated to Ms.K, who’s never talked much.


You know you’re independent 

When you can handle 

Everything by yourself –

You know you’re an adult

When you can handle 

Immense pressure –

Even pain,

And have not shattered to pieces;

When you have not told a soul,

And have no one suspecting

That you’re broken,

You need someone to talk to;

You have drained all your tears,

But still know 

You’re okay.

There’s no one to sit by your side,

There’s no one to listen

To your everyday complaints,

There’s no one to ask

If you’re okay,

Because no one knows.

You’ve handled things well, all alone.

A life to live

Another poem dedicated to Mr.K : my neighbour whose feelings I could somehow fathom.
No one gets the life they’d desired

No one lives the life they had always loved

No one ends up happiest among the lot

No one gets away with a single thought

And no, no one can replay a portion

Of their life

Again and again

Just to stay happy

And get away from all the pain

The sorrow

The regrets

Every unfulfilled wish that remains 

All the buried up feelings,

The desperation,

Every little tear that has not been shed

The loneliness

The fears

And every unspoken truth hidden within

Will follow you to your grave.

My special plant

​All I can do now

Is to wish

And wish again

And again

In vain

To find you,

To get you back;

For you

To be mine again

Is something

I would prioritize

Above all other mundanity.

But alas,

You’re now gone.

For, you

Were the only living thing

I could call mine;

You were the silent listener,

The smallest thing

Yet

The cutest

That I could own.

You managed to survive

Even when I didn’t feed you

You shed some leaves

And then grew some.

You never were a pain

You never made me frown;

And for all that you have done,

I have, in return

Forgotten you,

Treated you like you never existed,

And have let them take you

To the wolves,

To the ice and cold,

To the wilderness,

Wherever they may,

In the worst case,

Uproot you

And leave

To decay.

Whatever I may do now,

I know

I will never get you back;

Dear one,

I’m sorry I hadn’t cared.

I’m sorry I let them get to you.

But always remember,

You were always,

And will always remain

My special little plant.



Free

​This is me 

Giving up

On everyone

Who had ever been there

For me in difficult times.

This is me 

Giving up

All the memories,

The times spent together,

Which will never be had again.

This is me,

Giving up

On all things

That seem to

Control me.

I’m finally breaking free

From all the bonds

That had bound me

Down to the earth.

Now I’m free to fly

Over the sky

Where I shall disappear

As a tiny dot.

Away, for good.

No way

​Unless 

There is a way

From under the ocean,

To reach the sky

Where the stars shine,

Unless

There is a ray

Of light

Coming from a candle

Glowing inside,

Unless

There is a path

Leading to the heavens

From the backstairs,

Unless

There is a drama

Which can be perceived

Without judgement,

Unless 

There is a song

That can be sung out loud

In the rain, in the snow,

And in the darkness,

Where I reside,

Expressing the pain,

There is no hope

Of getting any better

At overcoming

This feeling

Of having no one

To fill this gap,

To wipe the tears,

To say it’s okay,

To have a shoulder to weep on,

To have a friend

In this world

Of judgemental people.