Best day

I’m writing this blog post the second time because I accidentally deleted the previous post. Today was the best day ever because I had gone out with four of my friends.. because, on the day before Diwali, in our town, the roads are lined with people selling stuff everywhere.. like clothes, accessories, plastic stuff and whatnot. It was a blissful day to spend with these guys.. they were like four bodyguards who made me walk in the middle of the crowded streets so I could be safe in between. And one of them was that kind of bestie that you can sacrifice everything for. 

It was super fun. Usually, I’ve heard that it’ll be crowded the entire night, but I’ve never been out there late enough to see all that. But today, I was out till 10pm, because I knew I was safe with these guys.

They’re the best sort of friends one can ever get. And I’m taking pain to write all this, a second time, only because I don’t want to forget this wonderful day. 

Suddenly, life seems like a festival. It’s not dull anymore. It is vibrant, and full of colors, thanks to the kind of friends that I have got. Here’s a look at what our place looks like on the day before Diwali.. taken a couple of hours back.. Awesome, isn’t it? It gets like this if there are only a few days before Diwali. But the night before is the best.

And I also lit around 6 deepams and put them on our corridor today. I felt so happy and complete because it feels like it’s been years since we have done this. I had worn a French plait, and a new dress, and was happy all day. I have two more new dresses to be worn tomorrow.. so everything isn’t over yet. The festival of lights has only begun!

I wanted to show a picture of my corridor, but I’m using 2G and I’m not able to upload it, so.. that one can’t be shown now. I tried so hard to upload it, trust me.Anyway..

Happy diwali to all the folks out there! 🙂

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My Adenium plant

I have gotten this plant last weekend. It feels like I have something of my own after bringing this to the hostel. I kept it in the terrace, because it needs much sunlight – it’s a tropical plant. It grows like a bonsai, but much taller. Its flowers bloom in the spring – called the desert rose- have to wait for it. Not even sure if mine will flower, but Chennai is quite  a tropical area. 😀 But it dies when the temperature goes down, so I have to be careful in the winter. Although I was excited while bringing it, I’m forgetting to water it everyday. But since this plant makes me feel like I have something for myself – a living being that is ALL mine, it feels happy.

Plants at home

Hi folks!
Today we bought a couple of plants to keep at home. One, they said was a money plant (not of the creeper sort, though – that was the only one I knew until now) and it has yellow flowers. Another, Jasmine. And we were already having a few others at home. 

It feels so good having these at home, although I come home only for holidays.

Here are a few pics of them.

My inner demons

Warning: the poem is dark.

I ran in the darkness, not knowing where I was going
My feet were bleeding; it was the work of thorns and sharp stones
I still ran, because I felt I should
Else, something was going to eat me alive.

I ran amidst trees that waved their huge branches about like crazy
In an attempt to catch me
I ran as the wind beat against my face, slapping my cheeks
As though punishing for all my crimes.

I ran, as the moon refused to come to my rescue
Without even an ounce of moonlight.
I ran, as the cries from behind became louder
And were now closing in on me.

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me
Never giving up;
I ran… without knowing.. that ahead of me
Were the ugliest of spirits waiting to suck my soul out

I came to a halt as I saw what was ahead of me:
Hungry spirits and pointy teeth.
They were coming for me;
My head reeled.

But before I fell,
I felt a hundred shiny black hands catch me from behind
The very ones I had been running from.
They had finally gotten me.

I could see the black, pointy nails of a hand closing in on my throat
I felt my brain give away;
And just like that,
I was falling into oblivion.

As I was falling into the bottomless hole from which I could never return,
I knew..
That although I had countless people I held dear,
There wasn’t one name I could call out to.

The truth is,
There will never be a person you can trust
Unless it’s your own self.
As I realize this, the shiny black hands leave me alone and disappear.

Last time I was near the clouds

The last time I traveled in a flight(it was in December 2015, while I was traveling from Hyderabad to Chennai with my colleagues), I could see a whole area on earth from above from the window. I found those pics in my mobile, and wanted to share it with you guys.. simply.

Actually, I had not gotten a window seat, but the man who did was kind enough to ask if I needed it. I told him I’d sit if he wasn’t really interested. And lo, I was by the window!

I was very excited that day. It was wonderful, looking at all those tiny lights from above. It was like looking from the viewpoint of the gods above; looking at the little things on earth and thinking : how did this flight get this high? How clever must those tiny humans be, to have invented this flying machine?

Awed by everything, I started taking photos. The guy who offered me the seat probably thought I was crazy and probably thought of never offering his seat to others again. But I didn’t care. I wanted a few pictures of what I was seeing right then. I wanted people to see what I was seeing. I wanted to share this feeling with everyone. But then I didn’t.. I did keep it as my WhatsApp profile picture for a good few days, but that was because I did not know what picture to keep.

Now that I saw this pic in my mobile again, I thought I’ll share it with the folks who read my blog (although I’m sure there won’t be many).

Here they are!

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Awe-inspiring, isn’t it?

Now this is one less thing I’ve to do in life: travel in a night flight by the window and look at the earth below.

Still, I have many more things to do on my bucketlist. *sigh* Okies, that’s really it for tonight. Seeya guys later! 🙂

Swamimalai with dad

Hi guys.. I had been meaning to write since a while, but I couldn’t because I didn’t have much time. :/ Life has become hectic and I’m not as free as I once used to be.

I’m in Kumbakonam right now (gah, that’s where I used to live when you got a lot of blog posts from me).. I’m here because I had three holidays in a row.

I went to Swamimalai temple today with my dad. I didn’t take any pictures of the temple, but I took a photo of the street..

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I realized later after seeing the photo that a guy was actually posing there. lol. Here’s another.

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Although it was good going out with dad, after visiting the temple, we had to wait for an hour before the bus arrived. *hrrmph*.

Anyway, we got a bus eventually, then got some mangoes and stuff while coming home. And hey, I have clicked a few more pics on my X Play and whether they’re good or not (I’ll let you judge) and since this is my only blog (not really) I’m sharing them.

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I know they’re not good, and I know that’s not at all how photos are taken, cropping most of the stuff, but you have to live with it. 😛 They’re the only ones I’ve got.

Aaaaaannndddd… that’s it for today. Good night, folks! 🙂

My new X Play

Hello folks!

For this big billion sale in flipkart, I got myself a brand new Moto X Play.. I am so in love with it.. So much so that I forgot my daily routine and am with this phone all the time.

Since I have a phone that is capable of taking clearer pictures, I figured I’ll show you guys the place where I live… The bustling city, Chennai..

Taken from an over bridge.. Taken by? That’s right, my new Moto X Play! B-)
How cool is that?

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Hello again, folks!

Hellooooeeee fellas,

It’s been quite a while since I blogged, and I really am missing my blog. You see, I had been a bit busy what with all the strict office schedule. I come back to my hostel everyday around 10pm when my roommates are all asleep and the lights are all turned off. :/ Since I really didn’t have the time to even get near a laptop in the weekdays, I thought I’d just give blogging a rest.

But then, the weekend’s here, and I’m home, aaaand… I’m dearly missing this blog. So, here’s just another boring blogpost from me.

Do you know how happy it feels when you buy some biscuits and feed a stray dog? Yes, I did it again, today. I have this feed-eat relationship with this doggie since a few months now and whenever I search for a dog to feed the biscuits, I always see him (or her, probably.. I didn’t notice). And today, lazy as ever, he was sleeping in front of that recharge shop like he does every other day. He’s cute, really. I like it when dogs look at me, yearning for that biscuit in my hand. Sweet little things.

Since I know that there will not be many volunteering to feed a stray dog, and since I know that a stray dog has nowhere to go, I feel happy when I feed them. I should probably do this more often. I like this doggie, by the way. We’re kinda friends, now (hopefully).

I just realized that my blogpost looks utterly childish and totally purposeless. :/

Nevertheless, I’m posting it. I don’t really care much right now. Please don’t mind the cheesy stuff in the middle.

Moving out of town

Even when I moved from Hyderabad to Kumbakonam a decade ago, I blamed my father for losing everything I held dear. He was the one who had insisted that we settle down in Kumbakonam, because it had been his hometown. But now, it seems that I’m moving again from Kumbakonam to Chennai, and I have no one else to blame but myself.

And now, it’ll be because I need a job. I’ll have to join in another four days – May 18 (my birthday, that is) and I’ll have to forget living a carefree life in Kumbakonam with nothing at all to worry about. Kumbakonam has taught me many things that I could’ve NEVER possibly learnt in Hyderabad. That countryside-ish belief, that way in which people would like me to behave, to dress up, everything. Kumbakonam is a precious town, and I can’t say goodbye to it that easily. But now, it seems that it isn’t so hard to say goodbye (I had always been a sucker for Goodbyes in the past) and now it seems tears do not roll down my cheek once every five minutes and I’m acting like a normal human being.

Perhaps this is for the best.

My parents are staying here. I’ll have to live in a hostel, which means I’ll have so much to remember without mom to remind me of every single thing I need to do. :/ It’s going to be really tough.

But since I really like Kumbakonam now, even though I hated it once, I think I might come to like Chennai, too, someday. (Psst! I already like it!)

Let’s see if life gets any better. Or worse.

End of college, and with it, all things good

This turned out to be a vent post, lol. Don’t mind this one if you aren’t really into reading people vent and all. I just needed to get this out, so here it is.

Today was the last day in college, and I didn’t even get to act like it was the last day. Ever since I got placed and TCS gave me a different classroom to be in (long story short, TCS, the company that I had been recruited into has revised our college syllabus, and in the final semester, we had TCS-chosen subjects). So since I didn’t really have a big gang of friends and all, I got to simply eat and leave with a friend, D.

Yeah, I will never be going back again. I sometimes don’t even feel the pain of leaving college, which is sort of odd for a person like me. I cry a lot during farewells… I still remember the way I cried on the last day at tuition when we were in 10th grade. I even wept last year because my friends were leaving college… but here I am, all done with my course, and still as stone.

A few tears roll down my eyes whenever I think about leaving home, and with it, mom. But never for any particular friend in college. I guess I’ve gotten a bit cold as time flew by. Back in school, I got close with many… but now, I guess it’s not really that way.

And it’s all because of the way people looked at me back then, and the way people look at me now. Now that I think about this, I think I might’ve changed a bit over the years. I don’t really consider myself close to even my closest friends now… I dunno how I even manage to do that.

Something tells me that I’ll never find friendship at workplace. I mean… not the kind of friendship that I need, anyway. I really need a good friend to be by my side, to tell me everything’s okay. To actually like me the way I am. And P’s the one who LOVES me the way I am. She will never be forgotten, will always be missed.

I was so used to having summer holidays that since I realized I won’t be having any from now on, I began hating my future life already. Alright, there will be more money after I join work; I can wear anything I want, buy any mobile I want, and do whatever I want. But will there really be any rest? Doubtful.

Anyway, life goes on, right? I just cannot sit in a corner and sulk over the fact that I’m all grown up.

Little things make my day – like feeding a stray dog a packet of biscuits, which I did yesterday and two days before, and today some guy at the canteen made my day. I was buying a token at the canteen, and a student was issuing the tokens (dunno why the people of the canteen abandon ship sometimes) and he said “Thank you ma. It’s good to see a bright smiling face in the midst of all this.” I really didn’t realize I was smiling until he told me so. Anyway, by telling me so, he had made my day.

The point that I’m trying to arrive to is… things have taken such a strange turn in my life that I don’t have any friends beside me anymore, thanks to this splitting of streams and all that TCS stuff.  Strangers make my day now-a-days, even dogs do. I keep feeling I’m losing my friends gradually. It isn’t visible, but it’s happening. I’ve been distanced from the people I like to be with.

And many of them have moved to other places too… Now that I come to think of this, I never call them. I never have balance in my phone, and I keep telling everyone that as a reason. Maybe I wasn’t much of a ‘friend’ person from the beginning, after all.

Now, I’ll be thrown into some ocean in which I’ll have to swim hard, and rough, and tough. I’ll be well outside my comfy zone, and I will have not many friends. I will have no one to share my happiness with; I am not going to have anyone to help with my sorrows and my tales of utter woe.

I can be easily classified into the lonely sort, but something in me still craves for friends. I don’t know why I sometimes don’t want to be with friends… I feel alone even when there’s a whole bunch of them with me, at times. I never feel at ease even with them; I don’t understand why I even need them. Because I don’t.

No one will be there in the end anyway.