Unworthy

Being unworthy

Of friendship,

Letting go of those

That had shown mercy

Unknowingly

During times of difficulty;

Letting go of those

Who were once everything,

Whose simple existence,

Senseless everyday banter, abyss-deep care

Freed all demons

That occupied the mind;

Undeserving of all the care received thus far,

Incapable of love,

Inefficiency in understanding

What it means 

To have a friend in life,

Unworthy of attention –

As light is shed upon this,

And as everyone leaves

One by one,

The demons come back

This time, even stronger

To corrupt the newly emptied mind.




Friendship Day

A poem written from the perspective of someone I know:

It’s just another day

Craving for one

To recognise

The pricks of those ruthless thorns,

To understand

Each day spent in agony,

To heal

Every aching wound,

To forget

All the hatred, the ego,

And to forgive and to forget;

Craving

To be one’s own friend,

To be there for oneself –

It’s ‘friendship day’, they say,

Having not many friends,

Running away from the very few left,

Into an empty place

Without barricades,

To a place

Where there’s no one to call ‘friend’,

Wondering why

There are still a few left

Why they refuse to extricate themselves

From the circle

Of an unwanted person,

With a screwed-up mind,

From a meaningless bond –

They’ve been shown

Not to meddle anymore

Into any affairs with this ‘friend’

Because friendship is not what you’ll get;

Feeling sorry for befriending so many,

Wiping away from the mind

All the memories made,

And running away,

Far, far away,

Is the only way

To celebrate this friendship day.

Pierce

All these days

It has been repeated

Without hesitation

That a mistake

Has been done;

Every now and again,

Like a sharp knife

Piercing the heart

As blood oozes out

Dripping along

While running away,

Trying to escape

This place of torment,

From the blame, the accusation

As it hurts so much

Knowing to have been a burden

In all of life;

If letting in

Was a mistake,

The price has been paid,

For, every now and then

There is a new accusation

Which is capable of breaking a person

Entirely;

But whatever happens,

Though the knife is passed

Through this mortal body

Again and again,

And again,

Although this pain is unbearable,

Somehow,

If I’m still alive,

I shall come again,

Just so you can pass your knife through me

Again.

Soltitude

​Not having anyone

In this world

Who can do a favour

Or be of help

In times of grief

Or for moral support –

Not having a single being

Who knows better,

Who cares,

Spots the wiped-up tears,

Who can hear through the silence

The high-pitched cries of desperation –

Not having a person

To share

This immense sorrow

For which there’s no more space

In this chest

To contain and hide –

Is why soltitude is unbearable.

Vulnerable

Loneliest of all,

Having no one to listen

To the grief, the sorrow,

Having no one who gives a damn,

Having a friend

Or a person

In life,

Who wants to know

The reason

Behind this loneliness,

This moment of weakness,

This moment

Where any stranger

Can enter

And disrupt the routine

Of an already uneventful life,

Is the most frightening of all.

Being vulnerable

To love that’s fake,

To shallow talks of consolation,

Melting for a tiny word,

Hanging onto it for support,

Believing it would last forever

Is what makes things

Harder.

Fly

Like the high clouds

I want to soar

So I could reach you,

So I could touch you,

So that I could see

Where you reside

In the sky

Like a King,

Where I can be the queen,

Where I get 

To love you forever,

To laugh like there’s no tomorrow,

Lean on your broad shoulders,

Let the tears of pain flow,

Let the happiness sink in

Until it reaches

The mighty ocean below

Into which I shall jump,

To get precious pearls

To adorn you with;

And when I look up,

I will yearn for you

And only you,

And will wait

In this life and the next

For you

To come down to me,

And set me free with you,

Into the sky

Where we can fly

Without a care.

And the moon would never come down.

That guilt

​All day

I think of you,

Deep in my thoughts

In my every action,

As I find guilt

Crawling forward

And stopping that smile

Halfway,

Pushing away

All things happy,

As I know

I was never good enough;

I know,

I’ve been fighting

For a lost cause;

I think of you

Who’s in pain,

Who needs me

And yet never admits;

I want to do all that I can,

Breaking this wall

Of ego

As the daughterly love,

As creepy as it can be

Fills in 

The air around you,

Disentangling you

From the web of loneliness

That you’re trapped in;

Don’t be afraid

To hold my hand,

And walk in the dark.

Know that I could do anything

Just anything

To make your everyday life

Better.

Your angle

​It’s not anyone’s fault

That things are

The way they are;

After all,

Everyone we meet

In this world

Is human;

Everyone has a life,

Everyone cannot comprehend 

Every single feeling 

With utmost precision

The same way you have.

Even if it is a professional,

They’re still human;

They, too, can get angry

They, too, can get mad,

Because in the end,

No one is an angel

Dropping right from heaven

And there is no one

In this world

Who can ever see

What you see;

There’s no one in this world 

Who will not snap

On hearing an honest confession 

From you

If it’s unfavorable to them;

Everyone has an angle

Of seeing things,

And yours is in no way

Nearer to theirs.

Independent

Dedicated to Ms.K, who’s never talked much.


You know you’re independent 

When you can handle 

Everything by yourself –

You know you’re an adult

When you can handle 

Immense pressure –

Even pain,

And have not shattered to pieces;

When you have not told a soul,

And have no one suspecting

That you’re broken,

You need someone to talk to;

You have drained all your tears,

But still know 

You’re okay.

There’s no one to sit by your side,

There’s no one to listen

To your everyday complaints,

There’s no one to ask

If you’re okay,

Because no one knows.

You’ve handled things well, all alone.

A life to live

Another poem dedicated to Mr.K : my neighbour whose feelings I could somehow fathom.
No one gets the life they’d desired

No one lives the life they had always loved

No one ends up happiest among the lot

No one gets away with a single thought

And no, no one can replay a portion

Of their life

Again and again

Just to stay happy

And get away from all the pain

The sorrow

The regrets

Every unfulfilled wish that remains 

All the buried up feelings,

The desperation,

Every little tear that has not been shed

The loneliness

The fears

And every unspoken truth hidden within

Will follow you to your grave.