My umbrella


It rains not every single day,

I forget you’re even there,

Safely resting 

In a forgotten corner

Of my little bag;

You’re my umbrella,

Shielding me

From the showers of pain

That life drizzles upon me;

You’re my umbrella,

Shielding me from the sun,

Lest my skin get tan;

You’re my umbrella,

Under which I can hide my tears

Or peel away the everyday facade

Of happiness;

You’re my umbrella,

Although I don’t require one everyday,

I know you’re there, always.

You’re my umbrella, father,

You’re the haven that I always look for.


Vulnerable

Loneliest of all,

Having no one to listen

To the grief, the sorrow,

Having no one who gives a damn,

Having a friend

Or a person

In life,

Who wants to know

The reason

Behind this loneliness,

This moment of weakness,

This moment 

Where any stranger

Can enter

And disrupt the routine

Of an already uneventful life,

Is the most frightening of all.

Being vulnerable to love,

Talks of consolation,

Melting for a tiny word,

Hanging onto it for support,

Believing it would last forever

Is what puts things

Upside down.

Fly

Like the high clouds

I want to soar

So I could reach you,

So I could touch you,

So that I could see

Where you reside

In the sky

Like a King,

Where I can be the queen,

Where I get 

To love you forever,

To laugh like there’s no tomorrow,

Lean on your broad shoulders,

Let the tears of pain flow,

Let the happiness sink in

Until it reaches

The mighty ocean below

Into which I shall jump,

To get precious pearls

To adorn you with;

And when I look up,

I will yearn for you

And only you,

And will wait

In this life and the next

For you

To come down to me,

And set me free with you,

Into the sky

Where we can fly

Without a care.

And the moon would never come down.

That guilt

​All day

I think of you,

Deep in my thoughts

In my every action,

As I find guilt

Crawling forward

And stopping that smile

Halfway,

Pushing away

All things happy,

As I know

I was never good enough;

I know,

I’ve been fighting

For a lost cause;

I think of you

Who’s in pain,

Who needs me

And yet never admits;

I want to do all that I can,

Breaking this wall

Of ego

As the daughterly love,

As creepy as it can be

Fills in 

The air around you,

Disentangling you

From the web of loneliness

That you’re trapped in;

Don’t be afraid

To hold my hand,

And walk in the dark.

Know that I could do anything

Just anything

To make your everyday life

Better.

The lonely tree


Like the lonely tree

Who tried to survive

The scorching sun

Of the south,

I see you

As you struggle, as your leaves fall,

One by one

And yet, you never lean 

Onto someone.

Like the pitiful, undernourished tree

You need love,

Care,

You have to open up,

Take in the air around you,

And cherish every little breath

So you don’t perish

In this desert

Where you will never be found again,

Where you will be eaten whole.

Do not trudge away,

Lean on me, I shall support you,

Do not walk away

To an unknown place

Because no one else cares much

But me.

The daughter who never cared

​I wake up from a cozy bed,

Miles away, you wake up from the ground;

I idle around for a while,

Overcoming your tiredness, you stand;

I get dressed and walk to gym

You start with your daily chores;

I get ready to office,

Without even the strength to stand, you cook;

I go sit in a fully air conditioned place,

You’re done in the afternoon.

I eat lunch,

You eat your breakfast-cum-lunch;

I go back to my cozy cubicle,

You still have work to do.

And with your injured leg,

You do all of this,

As I enjoy my life

As if you’re​ not at all suffering,

As if this feeling of guilt

Never exists,

As if I never feel like coming back home

To help you,

To do all the work,

To let you relax,

To make your daily life…

A bit more easier.

I never am blessed

With the gift

Of serving you,

Taking care of you,

And I stand in utter shame

As I am unable

To make your daily life…

A bit more easier.

Will I ever

Get to rest in peace?

This is in the POV of Ms.K, the neighbour I’d always observe and write about. She and her father had a fight yesterday, and she was shouting so loud that I could hear what it was about. She lives alone in a different place, and had come to visit her parents yesterday. Their father is very simple, and yet egoistic. So is she. Theirs is one ego-filled family, for sure.

My special plant

​All I can do now

Is to wish

And wish again

And again

In vain

To find you,

To get you back;

For you

To be mine again

Is something

I would prioritize

Above all other mundanity.

But alas,

You’re now gone.

For, you

Were the only living thing

I could call mine;

You were the silent listener,

The smallest thing

Yet

The cutest

That I could own.

You managed to survive

Even when I didn’t feed you

You shed some leaves

And then grew some.

You never were a pain

You never made me frown;

And for all that you have done,

I have, in return

Forgotten you,

Treated you like you never existed,

And have let them take you

To the wolves,

To the ice and cold,

To the wilderness,

Wherever they may,

In the worst case,

Uproot you

And leave

To decay.

Whatever I may do now,

I know

I will never get you back;

Dear one,

I’m sorry I hadn’t cared.

I’m sorry I let them get to you.

But always remember,

You were always,

And will always remain

My special little plant.



Cold winter

Snow pellets fell,

one by one,

But still

All at a time;

The frost bites stung,

The storm blew away

Any reminiscence

Of old, fallen leaves;

For, it was white everywhere,

Ice everywhere – 

Where it rained 

Of beautiful snowflakes

Within the walls

Of that place I call

My heart.

Parents


​You are the stem 

Holding me,

Providing me support,

Giving me energy

To face

The tumultuous waves

Of life.

All these days,

You have protected me,

Never showing what pain is like,

Or sorrows,

Showered love on me,

And all you have expected

Is for me 

To grow

Into a taller plant

Bearing tastier fruits.

Thank you for the faith,

And the patronage;

Now the turn is mine

To extend my branches

And provide shade

Where you can rest

In comfort.

Easier

​I’m sorry I left you alone 

I’m sorry I didn’t do anything

Even if I did care

Because I know

The feeling

Of loneliness and pain

Of being left alone

More than anyone

But I have no choice,

For, I should leave you

Alone

To go ahead 

With my life.

Because if I stayed,

We both know

I could be of help,

But my life

Would come 

To a standstill.

I’m sorry for everything

I’ve not done

That I ought have

To make it easier for you,

I’m sorry

Your life turned out

The way it is,

And I’m really sorry

That I’m unable

To do anything about it.

All I can do,

Is promise you

That I’ll be there

Even though not always

To make your daily life

Easier.