Unworthy

Being unworthy

Of friendship,

Letting go of those

That had shown mercy

Unknowingly

During times of difficulty;

Letting go of those

Who were once everything,

Whose simple existence,

Senseless everyday banter, abyss-deep care

Freed all demons

That occupied the mind;

Undeserving of all the care received thus far,

Incapable of love,

Inefficiency in understanding

What it means 

To have a friend in life,

Unworthy of attention –

As light is shed upon this,

And as everyone leaves

One by one,

The demons come back

This time, even stronger

To corrupt the newly emptied mind.




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Take me home

Take me to a place

Where I can find myself,

Cherish every moment,

Where I’m closer to mother nature;

Take me to a place

Where I can cry out loud,

Where I can run and play,

And laugh away my sorrows;

Take me to a place

Where I can get away

From all the responsibilities

Of this mortal world,

Where there’re no judgemental opinions,

Where liberty finds me;

Take me to a place 

Where I can live in peace,

And have someone who cares for me –

Please take me home.

Friendship Day

A poem written from the perspective of someone I know:

It’s just another day

Craving for one

To recognise

The pricks of those ruthless thorns,

To understand

Each day spent in agony,

To heal

Every aching wound,

To forget

All the hatred, the ego,

And to forgive and to forget;

Craving

To be one’s own friend,

To be there for oneself –

It’s ‘friendship day’, they say,

Having not many friends,

Running away from the very few left,

Into an empty place

Without barricades,

To a place

Where there’s no one to call ‘friend’,

Wondering why

There are still a few left

Why they refuse to extricate themselves

From the circle

Of an unwanted person,

With a screwed-up mind,

From a meaningless bond –

They’ve been shown

Not to meddle anymore

Into any affairs with this ‘friend’

Because friendship is not what you’ll get;

Feeling sorry for befriending so many,

Wiping away from the mind

All the memories made,

And running away,

Far, far away,

Is the only way

To celebrate this friendship day.

By yourself

Spend more time with yourself,

Visit new places,

Get to know new things,

Read new books,

Play your guitar,

Cycle in the mornings,

Work out,

Watch the sun rise,

Work, shop, dance, write,

But don’t ever expect

Another person to join,

Because the expectation

Is what makes you feel

Lonely.

Who’s there?

My ears strained

And strained

To hear a voice – any voice,

One of reassurance,

One of love,

One of excitement,

One of promises,

One that would take me away,

Over the hills,

The seas,

The horizon,

Where the sun meets the earth,

But never really does

Where I am drenched

In a world of bliss,

Where this minute is eternity.

I called out loud,

To see if any voice would reply,

But alas, there was no response –

There was no one.

Vulnerable

Loneliest of all,

Having no one to listen

To the grief, the sorrow,

Having no one who gives a damn,

Having a friend

Or a person

In life,

Who wants to know

The reason

Behind this loneliness,

This moment of weakness,

This moment

Where any stranger

Can enter

And disrupt the routine

Of an already uneventful life,

Is the most frightening of all.

Being vulnerable

To love that’s fake,

To shallow talks of consolation,

Melting for a tiny word,

Hanging onto it for support,

Believing it would last forever

Is what makes things

Harder.

Sensitive

A single word

An unwelcome gesture

A simple sneer

Or an angry tone

Is enough

To shun the lights

Out of my day,

Make it a lonely night,

Where I reside

In the darkness

Without the slightest fear

But in comfort –

Where there is no one

To mock

Or to hate.

It has become 

Extraordinarily tough these days

To put up

Even with the silliest

Of comments.

All I need, right now,

Is to go far, far away –

Someplace where no one

Knows me.

A dawn of miseries

​Dawn comes,

And brings along

A pile of responsibilities;

A new day is born

To sulk and brood

With pain

As new waves 

Of sorrow

Are born

On reception

Of every unfriendly action;

As all love is lost

In the darkness,

Where the sun doesn’t shine,

And yet,

The dawn arrives,

Complacent and potent,

To drive away the dusk,

To shun this happiness

That I have earned

In the past few days;

And the rising sun

States the end

Of all things happy;

And with this,

I shall trudge

Into the world

Where the dawn breaks

To shoo away

This feeling

Of being carefree;

I pray for dawn to never break,

But this dusk

Cannot last forever;

And another day

Of a mundane routine

Begins.


– I wrote this yesterday, but couldn’t post it because of the wonderful network that we get from 2G. I was traveling away from home. The five-day holiday has ended and office begins today. Just got back. –

Away

Away from all the commotion,

Away from the judgmental, the rude,

Away from the merciless words,

Away from the ridicule, the sarcasm,

Away from all the uneasiness,

Away from the rest of the world,

Here I am, finally home,

Where I find strength,

To not drown

Into this void that’s consuming me;

Where I can live in peace,

At least for a few days.

Deserted Ocean

I try harder,

Swimming in this ocean

Trying to find something;

But there’s nothing.

I look for shiny pearls,

For the cranky seashells that contain them,

For the jellyfish that sting,

For the fishes, large and tiny

For eels, for whales,

Royal-looking Stingrays,

Or the brainy octopuses,

Even phytoplanktons –

Come what may.

But nothing.

Becoming dinner this evening,

For a bunch of hungry sharks

Does sound much better

Than swimming deeper and deeper

Into this deserted ocean

All alone.

As I go further,

The light recedes,

And a never-ending blue

Is laid out

In front of me.. to explore.

And yet, 

There’s no one down here

To say it’s okay,

To say ‘you’re  not alone’,

To brighten my day.

Because, deep down here,

Into the depths of the heart,

Loneliness is all there is.

And loneliness is all there will ever be.