Vulnerable

Loneliest of all,

Having no one to listen

To the grief, the sorrow,

Having no one who gives a damn,

Having a friend

Or a person

In life,

Who wants to know

The reason

Behind this loneliness,

This moment of weakness,

This moment 

Where any stranger

Can enter

And disrupt the routine

Of an already uneventful life,

Is the most frightening of all.

Being vulnerable to love,

Talks of consolation,

Melting for a tiny word,

Hanging onto it for support,

Believing it would last forever

Is what puts things

Upside down.

Sensitive

A single word

An unwelcome gesture

A simple sneer

Or an angry tone

Is enough

To shun the lights

Out of my day,

Make it a lonely night,

Where I reside

In the darkness

Without the slightest fear

But in comfort –

Where there is no one

To mock

Or to hate.

It has become 

Extraordinarily tough these days

To put up

Even with the silliest

Of comments.

All I need, right now,

Is to go far, far away –

Someplace where no one

Knows me.

A dawn of miseries

​Dawn comes,

And brings along

A pile of responsibilities;

A new day is born

To sulk and brood

With pain

As new waves 

Of sorrow

Are born

On reception

Of every unfriendly action;

As all love is lost

In the darkness,

Where the sun doesn’t shine,

And yet,

The dawn arrives,

Complacent and potent,

To drive away the dusk,

To shun this happiness

That I have earned

In the past few days;

And the rising sun

States the end

Of all things happy;

And with this,

I shall trudge

Into the world

Where the dawn breaks

To shoo away

This feeling

Of being carefree;

I pray for dawn to never break,

But this dusk

Cannot last forever;

And another day

Of a mundane routine

Begins.


– I wrote this yesterday, but couldn’t post it because of the wonderful network that we get from 2G. I was traveling away from home. The five-day holiday has ended and office begins today. Just got back. –

Away

Away from all the commotion,

Away from the judgmental, the rude,

Away from the merciless words,

Away from the ridicule, the sarcasm,

Away from all the uneasiness,

Away from the rest of the world,

Here I am, finally home,

Where I find strength,

To not drown

Into this void that’s consuming me;

Where I can live in peace,

At least for a few days.

Deserted Ocean

I try harder,

Swimming in this ocean

Trying to find something;

But there’s nothing.

I look for shiny pearls,

For the cranky seashells that contain them,

For the jellyfish that sting,

For the fishes, large and tiny

For eels, for whales,

Royal-looking Stingrays,

Or the brainy octopuses,

Even phytoplanktons –

Come what may.

But nothing.

Becoming dinner this evening,

For a bunch of hungry sharks

Does sound much better

Than swimming deeper and deeper

Into this deserted ocean

All alone.

As I go further,

The light recedes,

And a never-ending blue

Is laid out

In front of me.. to explore.

And yet, 

There’s no one down here

To say it’s okay,

To say ‘you’re  not alone’,

To brighten my day.

Because, deep down here,

Into the depths of the heart,

Loneliness is all there is.

And loneliness is all there will ever be.

My inner demons

Warning: the poem is dark.

I ran in the darkness, not knowing where I was going
My feet were bleeding; it was the work of thorns and sharp stones
I still ran, because I felt I should
Else, something was going to eat me alive.

I ran amidst trees that waved their huge branches about like crazy
In an attempt to catch me
I ran as the wind beat against my face, slapping my cheeks
As though punishing for all my crimes.

I ran, as the moon refused to come to my rescue
Without even an ounce of moonlight.
I ran, as the cries from behind became louder
And were now closing in on me.

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me
Never giving up;
I ran… without knowing.. that ahead of me
Were the ugliest of spirits waiting to suck my soul out

I came to a halt as I saw what was ahead of me:
Hungry spirits and pointy teeth.
They were coming for me;
My head reeled.

But before I fell,
I felt a hundred shiny black hands catch me from behind
The very ones I had been running from.
They had finally gotten me.

I could see the black, pointy nails of a hand closing in on my throat
I felt my brain give away;
And just like that,
I was falling into oblivion.

As I was falling into the bottomless hole from which I could never return,
I knew..
That although I had countless people I held dear,
There wasn’t one name I could call out to.

The truth is,
There will never be a person you can trust
Unless it’s your own self.
As I realize this, the shiny black hands leave me alone and disappear.