Soltitude

​Not having anyone

In this world

Who can do a favour

Or be of help

In times of grief

Or for moral support –

Not having a single being

Who knows better,

Who cares,

Spots the wiped-up tears,

Who can hear through the silence

The high-pitched cries of desperation –

Not having a person

To share

This immense sorrow

For which there’s no more space

In this chest

To contain and hide –

Is why soltitude is unbearable.

Easier

​I’m sorry I left you alone 

I’m sorry I didn’t do anything

Even if I did care

Because I know

The feeling

Of loneliness and pain

Of being left alone

More than anyone

But I have no choice,

For, I should leave you

Alone

To go ahead 

With my life.

Because if I stayed,

We both know

I could be of help,

But my life

Would come 

To a standstill.

I’m sorry for everything

I’ve not done

That I ought have

To make it easier for you,

I’m sorry

Your life turned out

The way it is,

And I’m really sorry

That I’m unable

To do anything about it.

All I can do,

Is promise you

That I’ll be there

Even though not always

To make your daily life

Easier.

Free

​This is me 

Giving up

On everyone

Who had ever been there

For me in difficult times.

This is me 

Giving up

All the memories,

The times spent together,

Which will never be had again.

This is me,

Giving up

On all things

That seem to

Control me.

I’m finally breaking free

From all the bonds

That had bound me

Down to the earth.

Now I’m free to fly

Over the sky

Where I shall disappear

As a tiny dot.

Away, for good.

The space

​Have no one

Enter the space

Upon reaching where

Can make you swing and sway

To their wishes

Or even close enough

For you

To do all that you can

For them

Because, in the end,

There’s nothing such as 

An unbreakable friendship

Because, in the end,

People leave – 

Most of them.

All of them – that had once been

In the space

That you let them enter;

Some, who have not

Seen the insides of the space

Don’t leave,

Because there’s no reason to.

They have not seen the gruesome state

Nor did they come across

The nails inside

That prick their toes,

Sending them out

In a frenzy,

Away from where they belong,

Away from everything

That once seemed nice.

The more comfortable it feels

With someone,

The more it hurts,

Because, in the end,

They’re the only ones

Who were ever allowed

To enter the space

And yet, never knew

A thing

About how much they mean,

How much they will always be special,

How much their absence is felt

How much effort was taken to make the space cozy enough

To make them stay

To understand,

To love,

To care;

Never in forever will they know

How much they had meant

But, their footsteps will stay, littered all over

Until the space

Ceases to be.

But now, it is time

To set them free.

They were not meant to be

In this cruel prison

Lined with grime and dirt.

Only thing that lasts

​Felicity comes

Upon wings of gold

Glittering,

Throwing it’s light

All over the place;

And then, the words

That launch themselves

Like flaming arrows

Plunging into

The depths,

Tearing the fragile walls,

Of the heart,

Suppressing the wings of gold,

Melting them

To a liquid

That fills the cracks

And holes

Of lonely rocks

Upon which grass do not grow.

And that’s when 

The sun sets,

And the dark rises

With no one to see

Nor hear

The silent cries

The sorrow, the pain,

That’s hidden from the rest of the world.

And that’s when the true form

Can be seen – 

Where there is no one

To see.

One word

​One word

Is all it takes

To shatter the glass

And throw the shards

To the hungry beast

With three eyes

Burning with jealousy

And one tongue

Of sharp steel

Like that of a sword

Cutting your speech

Into two.

Speechless, you try

And try

To let it go,

But it won’t,

Because it has never 

Really left;

It stays with you,

Like a large hole in the depths

Of the heart

That pumps purple blood;

And you will never 

Be loved 

By any person

Because they know

That you’re nothing

But a broken piece of glass

Waiting to be glued together

Into an imperfect vase

That it had not, even once, been.

Another word

Shatters it again –

Glued or not,

It can never again

be fixed.

Independent

​Never let someone

Do something

For your benefit


Because, as time flies,

You have to remain grateful

And abide by their opinions


Just because

You feel like

You owe them.


Never take anything

From someone

When you’re in need


Adjust with what

You already have

In your safe.


Because, sometimes

When you owe them,

It feels desperate.


Never let anyone else pay

When your wallet 

Is with you.

 

Because, people owing you money

Is always better,

Than you owing them.


Never ask anyone

For any help

Of any sort.


Because, at the end,

There will be no one to do your work,

But you.


Never let anyone

Ridicule you, or sarcastically comment

Even as a friend


Because, you, as a person

Have a self-esteem 

That rockets to the sky.


Never let anyone

Get close to you

Till the inner depths of the heart


Because, in the end,

Everyone disappoints,

And disappears.


Never let anyone

Console you

Even when you’re desperate.


Because that shows

You’re weak

And not what you seem to be.


Though you look like

An entirely different person,

That’s acceptable.


Reveal your true self

Only to the few trusted ones,

Or maybe not.


Because even they,

In the end 

Will vanish, you will see.


Because life gives people

Many other people 

To think about.


And you will never be

The center of attention

For anyone.


Some days,

You will never be missed,

Cared, or loved.


Some days are different,

When people flow in

And shower their love.


And when no one dares to trudge inside

The ever-turbulent, constantly wavering tide

Of the heart, after dark


Do you get to know

The true façade of

Loneliness.


Because, you see,

You should never let people

Do what you were supposed to do.


People will sometimes

Never even pretend

To care.


Because, you are independent

Have always been,

And that’s exactly what is expected of you.

Deserted Ocean

I try harder,

Swimming in this ocean

Trying to find something;

But there’s nothing.

I look for shiny pearls,

For the cranky seashells that contain them,

For the jellyfish that sting,

For the fishes, large and tiny

For eels, for whales,

Royal-looking Stingrays,

Or the brainy octopuses,

Even phytoplanktons –

Come what may.

But nothing.

Becoming dinner this evening,

For a bunch of hungry sharks

Does sound much better

Than swimming deeper and deeper

Into this deserted ocean

All alone.

As I go further,

The light recedes,

And a never-ending blue

Is laid out

In front of me.. to explore.

And yet, 

There’s no one down here

To say it’s okay,

To say ‘you’re  not alone’,

To brighten my day.

Because, deep down here,

Into the depths of the heart,

Loneliness is all there is.

And loneliness is all there will ever be.

Underneath.

Hello again, folks! It’s Friday night, and I stayed up late, facebooked, and then… wrote a poem! Here it is!

Underneath the merciless rashes,

Underneath the auburn scars,

Underneath the pointy freckles,

Underneath the mask of pain,

Is a golden heart you may fail to see.

Underneath the immature facade,

Underneath the irresponsible behavior,

Underneath the freakishly bold laughter,

Underneath the adamant resolutions,

Is an innocent child you may fail to see.

Underneath the red-hot anger,

Underneath the trembling fingers,

Underneath the sorrow, the grief,

Underneath the eyes brimming with tears,

Is love you may never quite see.