Another day at Office

​Another day

As the sun

Showers the earth

With scorching rays

Another day

As the ACs are turned on

That keep running

On and on

As if forever.

Another day

At the office

Where nothing interesting

Can be done

Another day

That has passed

Without being able

To visit home.

Another day, just another day

That is almost like Doomsday

And yearn as I may

For another Sunday,

I will always know

That there’s someone in this world

Who’s having a much worse day

And that I’m blessed to have today.

Never back down

Just because you’re frail,

And you’re vulnerable,

Because you lack swiftness,

Because you’re weak,

And you’re sensitive,

Because you aren’t perfect,

Just because you fall

All the time

Doesn’t mean you don’t have to get back up.


P.S: This time I fell from my cycle and sprained my wrist. Hell, it pained a lot.

College days

Like a heaven-sent gift package

Did you all

Drop down

From the skies above

Just to make my life easier,

Happier,

Crazier,

Just for me to have

People in life

Who will walk beside

Until death

Who will stay

Silently, like the tranquil sea

With your never ending support;

Back then, when it was cold

And dark

And lonely,

You all sprinkled some hue

Into me,

Made me smile,

Made me look forward

For days 

I wish I’d never forget.

Thank you for everything, dear fellas,

Thank you.


I was suddenly reminded of my college days, so.. just a little thank-you post for people who mean a lot, who will never ever come across this post in life, but still I want to thank them without thanking them – haha.

About Trust

I’d watched a tamil movie today – Yaman. It was like a political drama, and I would’ve felt it very, very irrational and non-realistic had I not experienced so much as I have thus far in life. In the movie, each and every character ends up plotting against someone who was once on their side, and very close to them. The MC kills everyone at the end and emerges as the newly elected MLA – after killing all those people who had done wrong (and they were all a major threat to him, so he had no other choice), but this movie showed everyone that anyone could turn against anyone – just like that.

Which is true, because even though there had been no one who wanted to murder me, I’ve seen my share of things to stay aware, to stay away, to stay wary of people who seem to come too close, or even as an average friend. I’m beginning to build this little gap between me and everyone, like the crocodile-invested water surrounding castles of old. Hah!

I’ve seen people take money from me and disappear, I’ve seen people who’d been my roommate for months and ended up stealing stuff and hiding things from the rest of us, I’ve seen people who avoid me when I ask them to return my money because I needed them, I’ve seen people who behaved like best friends – divine friendship, if you will – and have hidden things and fought with you for something you thought all the time that you did something terrible, and it turned out that what you had done didn’t count even as a tiny dot. I’ve seen people who’re kind, I’ve seen people who said they’d be there for me always, I’ve seen people who liked me very much, and I’ve somehow ended up hurting them without meaning to, I’ve seen people who care, who love me – my mother and father, I’ve seen people who think I’m dumb – (99% of my friends call me that) and I’ve seen people who think I’m innocent (the same 99℅ of people think so), I’ve seen people discourage me from doing things, I’ve seen my whole school encourage me while I was young (I don’t know why, but everyone in my school back then had some unshakable belief in me, and that’s what made me become the school topper in 10th, I guess), I’ve seen EVERYTHING.

All kinds of people.

I couldn’t ask for more.

And I have learned, from my previous experiences, that I shouldn’t be trusting anyone. I try to not hurt anyone, I try to be polite all the time, but people don’t seem to reciprocate it, sometimes. And it hurts – a lot.

The more closer they are to you, the more it hurts. You stop caring, finally. You start thinking that no one is worth all the hurt, and you build this cocoon around yourself, but you keep fluttering out every now and then, because you know you’re not one to stay put – you’re just not that kind of person.

But you have to live within that cocoon – else, you’ll start expecting again from people. Trust is not the thing, actually. It’s expectation. Expectation that they’ll stay true – all the time. Expectation that your life will be spun out like a perfect fairytale; that whoever you meet will forever be loyal to you and only you, and that they will never think selfishly. When you expect something and you don’t get it, you get hurt.

So now I’ve found the key. I’ve stopped expecting. Completely.

It’s not like I had already been dependent on people until now – I always stay a bit independent, and don’t ask any favours from anyone – a trait I believe to have inherited from my father.

I never ask anyone to do anything for me. Even a simple thing to get from somewhere. So now I’ve just stopped expecting, I’ve stopped assuming. Because we don’t know who they really are. They might appear to us as friends, but who really are they?

I will never think I know the people I know anymore. Because no one ever knows.

I’m sensitive, get hurt for little things, try to let no one know how bad I’m hurt, make sure my roommates never know a thing when I feel terrible, I sit alone in the dark to sulk and then come back, I badly need someone to complain everything about, and WordPress is all I can think about. What a healthy state of mind!

I’m a total mess.

Trust built upon time

Again and again

The little spider 

Keeps trust

And builds its web

Thinking it would,

This time,

Be safe,

Because the walls 

Are now stronger —

But alas,

It never knew

That the wind

Had always been

And will always be

Stronger than the web,

And that there is no way

The spider can live

In peace.


— 

Trust – there’s no way one can live in peace unless one doesn’t trust ANYONE in this world. Even those who we think are close with, eventually show you who’s wrong.

Being happy

Know that

If I don’t post for a long while

It means

That I’m happy

And content with my life – 

That something exciting

Is going on

And I have stoppd dwelling

In sadistic thoughts.

Know that I have come again

Just to remind this website

That I’m not yet dead,

And that I’m the happiest

In the whole world.

Know that I have a resolution

For this year

To make myself

The happiest.

Realization

Just another random poem without much meaning.


Realisation hit

Like a storm upon the tranquil sea

Teaching me reality

And un-teaching

Whatever has been wrongly perceived

To see

What could not be seen

All these days, in the fog,

Murky, dusty, mist

That hung around 

Until the last day

When the sun shone bright

And brought upon earth

A new shade of light,

That brilliantly revealed 

How everyone looked at things

Differently 

Than I ever have.

Are women safe?

Whenever an Indian woman

Looks at her watch

And cancels her night plans,

Those men should feel ashamed

And tormented

Every single time,

Until they die.

When they have become brutes

And are no longer men,

Why does the world

Still need them?

And the onlookers who watch, timidly

Instead of preventing this cruelty

From unfolding,

They are not needed in this world, either.

May the tsunami take all of them.




Let us all not be like the onlookers who did nothing as women were molested openly on new year’s night. I was out that day, too. Just because it happened in a different city does not mean my city or any other city, for that matter, is safe. Women like celebration just as much as men. We deserve happiness, too.

Let us all stand together to create a safer environment.

Savings

Penny by penny I saved

And then lost some.

I saved a little more,

Even when I was tempted not to.

I spent some more,

Saved some more,

And in the end,

A well-wisher friend called me ‘lavish’

And made me save so well

That after a year from now,

I’ll have a decent amount 

Saved in the bank.

If only my friend hadn’t insisted,

I would never have been

Able to do this.