Who’s there?

Standard

My ears strained

And strained

To hear a voice – any voice,

One of reassurance,

One of love,

One of excitement,

One of promises,

One that would take me away,

Over the hills,

The seas,

The horizon,

Where the sun meets the earth,

But never really does

Where I am drenched

In a world of bliss,

Where this minute is eternity.

I called out loud,

To see if any voice would reply,

But alas, there was no response –

There was no one.

Advertisements

Another day at Office

Standard

​Another day

As the sun

Showers the earth

With scorching rays

Another day

As the ACs are turned on

That keep running

On and on

As if forever.

Another day

At the office

Where nothing interesting

Can be done

Another day

That has passed

Without being able

To visit home.

Another day, just another day

That is almost like Doomsday

And yearn as I may

For another Sunday,

I will always know

That there’s someone in this world

Who’s having a much worse day

And that I’m blessed to have today.

Never back down

Standard

Just because you’re frail,

And you’re vulnerable,

Because you lack swiftness,

Because you’re weak,

And you’re sensitive,

Because you aren’t perfect,

Just because you fall

All the time

Doesn’t mean you don’t have to get back up.


P.S: This time I fell from my cycle and sprained my wrist. Hell, it pained a lot.

College days

Standard

Like a heaven-sent gift package

Did you all

Drop down

From the skies above

Just to make my life easier,

Happier,

Crazier,

Just for me to have

People in life

Who will walk beside

Until death

Who will stay

Silently, like the tranquil sea

With your never ending support;

Back then, when it was cold

And dark

And lonely,

You all sprinkled some hue

Into me,

Made me smile,

Made me look forward

For days 

I wish I’d never forget.

Thank you for everything, dear fellas,

Thank you.


I was suddenly reminded of my college days, so.. just a little thank-you post for people who mean a lot, who will never ever come across this post in life, but still I want to thank them without thanking them – haha.

About Trust

Standard

I’d watched a tamil movie today – Yaman. It was like a political drama, and I would’ve felt it very, very irrational and non-realistic had I not experienced so much as I have thus far in life. In the movie, each and every character ends up plotting against someone who was once on their side, and very close to them. The MC kills everyone at the end and emerges as the newly elected MLA – after killing all those people who had done wrong (and they were all a major threat to him, so he had no other choice), but this movie showed everyone that anyone could turn against anyone – just like that.

Which is true, because even though there had been no one who wanted to murder me, I’ve seen my share of things to stay aware, to stay away, to stay wary of people who seem to come too close, or even as an average friend. I’m beginning to build this little gap between me and everyone, like the crocodile-invested water surrounding castles of old. Hah!

I’ve seen people take money from me and disappear, I’ve seen people who’d been my roommate for months and ended up stealing stuff and hiding things from the rest of us, I’ve seen people who avoid me when I ask them to return my money because I needed them, I’ve seen people who behaved like best friends – divine friendship, if you will – and have hidden things and fought with you for something you thought all the time that you did something terrible, and it turned out that what you had done didn’t count even as a tiny dot. I’ve seen people who’re kind, I’ve seen people who said they’d be there for me always, I’ve seen people who liked me very much, and I’ve somehow ended up hurting them without meaning to, I’ve seen people who care, who love me – my mother and father, I’ve seen people who think I’m dumb – (99% of my friends call me that) and I’ve seen people who think I’m innocent (the same 99℅ of people think so), I’ve seen people discourage me from doing things, I’ve seen my whole school encourage me while I was young (I don’t know why, but everyone in my school back then had some unshakable belief in me, and that’s what made me become the school topper in 10th, I guess), I’ve seen EVERYTHING.

All kinds of people.

I couldn’t ask for more.

And I have learned, from my previous experiences, that I shouldn’t be trusting anyone. I try to not hurt anyone, I try to be polite all the time, but people don’t seem to reciprocate it, sometimes. And it hurts – a lot.

The more closer they are to you, the more it hurts. You stop caring, finally. You start thinking that no one is worth all the hurt, and you build this cocoon around yourself, but you keep fluttering out every now and then, because you know you’re not one to stay put – you’re just not that kind of person.

But you have to live within that cocoon – else, you’ll start expecting again from people. Trust is not the thing, actually. It’s expectation. Expectation that they’ll stay true – all the time. Expectation that your life will be spun out like a perfect fairytale; that whoever you meet will forever be loyal to you and only you, and that they will never think selfishly. When you expect something and you don’t get it, you get hurt.

So now I’ve found the key. I’ve stopped expecting. Completely.

It’s not like I had already been dependent on people until now – I always stay a bit independent, and don’t ask any favours from anyone – a trait I believe to have inherited from my father.

I never ask anyone to do anything for me. Even a simple thing to get from somewhere. So now I’ve just stopped expecting, I’ve stopped assuming. Because we don’t know who they really are. They might appear to us as friends, but who really are they?

I will never think I know the people I know anymore. Because no one ever knows.

I’m sensitive, get hurt for little things, try to let no one know how bad I’m hurt, make sure my roommates never know a thing when I feel terrible, I sit alone in the dark to sulk and then come back, I badly need someone to complain everything about, and WordPress is all I can think about. What a healthy state of mind!

I’m a total mess.

Found my plant

Standard

I have found my lost plant! Someone had taken it, but their roommate saw it, and knowing that I was looking for it, she had told my friend to tell me it was there.

It had been in the same building, and I was thinking it would’ve even died. It’s hale and healthy. Probably the girl who took it took good care of it. I’m not going to leave it in the terrace again. 

Best day

Standard

I’m writing this blog post the second time because I accidentally deleted the previous post. Today was the best day ever because I had gone out with four of my friends.. because, on the day before Diwali, in our town, the roads are lined with people selling stuff everywhere.. like clothes, accessories, plastic stuff and whatnot. It was a blissful day to spend with these guys.. they were like four bodyguards who made me walk in the middle of the crowded streets so I could be safe in between. And one of them was that kind of bestie that you can sacrifice everything for. 

It was super fun. Usually, I’ve heard that it’ll be crowded the entire night, but I’ve never been out there late enough to see all that. But today, I was out till 10pm, because I knew I was safe with these guys.

They’re the best sort of friends one can ever get. And I’m taking pain to write all this, a second time, only because I don’t want to forget this wonderful day. 

Suddenly, life seems like a festival. It’s not dull anymore. It is vibrant, and full of colors, thanks to the kind of friends that I have got. Here’s a look at what our place looks like on the day before Diwali.. taken a couple of hours back.. Awesome, isn’t it? It gets like this if there are only a few days before Diwali. But the night before is the best.

And I also lit around 6 deepams and put them on our corridor today. I felt so happy and complete because it feels like it’s been years since we have done this. I had worn a French plait, and a new dress, and was happy all day. I have two more new dresses to be worn tomorrow.. so everything isn’t over yet. The festival of lights has only begun!

I wanted to show a picture of my corridor, but I’m using 2G and I’m not able to upload it, so.. that one can’t be shown now. I tried so hard to upload it, trust me.Anyway..

Happy diwali to all the folks out there! 🙂

My Adenium plant

Standard

I have gotten this plant last weekend. It feels like I have something of my own after bringing this to the hostel. I kept it in the terrace, because it needs much sunlight – it’s a tropical plant. It grows like a bonsai, but much taller. Its flowers bloom in the spring – called the desert rose- have to wait for it. Not even sure if mine will flower, but Chennai is quite  a tropical area. 😀 But it dies when the temperature goes down, so I have to be careful in the winter. Although I was excited while bringing it, I’m forgetting to water it everyday. But since this plant makes me feel like I have something for myself – a living being that is ALL mine, it feels happy.

Plants at home

Gallery

Hi folks!
Today we bought a couple of plants to keep at home. One, they said was a money plant (not of the creeper sort, though – that was the only one I knew until now) and it has yellow flowers. Another, Jasmine. And we were already having a few others at home. 

It feels so good having these at home, although I come home only for holidays.

Here are a few pics of them.

Friends stay, don’t they?

Standard

​Friends stay.

Even when you don’t know what you’re doing,

And you cut your hand in a ceiling fan,

And when you get admitted in a hospital,

Even if it takes a lot of time,

Even when you have no patience,

Even if they have to stay up all night,

Even when you complain about the green costume,

And when you undergo surgery,

And you can’t eat by yourself,

Even when you put them through hard times,

And you bother them all the time,

When you need them by your side all day,

Friends stay.

_________

Okay, I cut the back of my palm as I accidentally put my hand in the ceiling fan a few days ago. And my roommates took such great care of me the last two days that they deserve much, much more than this, but all I can give them in return is this poem. 

P.S: I hated the green outfit they gave me… so much.