Loser

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I have lost –
Not once,
Not twice,
But many, many times
On many, many days
At many occasions;
Not courageous enough
To pick up the sword and fight,
I have given up
Without much try;
I have surrendered
With swift goodbyes;
Going out had been easier
Than coming in,
And I had lost, many times
To my own self
And to others;
Even if it was painful,
I cared not –
My brittle resolve
Had led me nowhere,
And now, here I am,
Lost in the middle
Of this island
Where lethargy creeps in,
And I settle down for less;
And yet, my brain stays awake,
Entangling all thoughts
To a relentless turmoil
That keeps reminding me
What a loser I had been.

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Rain, come again

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Rain, oh rain,
Come again
And again –
Tonight
And tomorrow
And every other day;
Wipe my soul clean,
Drown away my sorrows,
Take me to the clouds,
Run your magic
Down dirty lanes
Of fear and regret;
Present to the world
The flavour
Of a clean swipe,
Of new beginnings,
Of colourful rainbows
And happier days
Like those from a fairytale;
Come, dear rain,
Please wash away
All the worries
That I’ve hidden
Deep within;
Wash away the tears
As they fall,
When I walk on the streets
Thinking of those two people
Who mean the world to me;
Oh rain, please set me free.

Fatherly love

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Another poem explaining the interesting life of my neighbour, who happens to be a close friend.

That one day,
For the first time
That I received a pat,
Is the first time in my life
It ever felt that close;
It was the first sign
Of encouragement
I had gotten;
The very first signal
Of a fatherly touch,
Of love and care,
And a warm smile,
An affection so rare;
It was the first time ever
And I know it would also be the last;
I shall forever remember
That magical bid of farewell
And the wonders it had done for me
Above others,
As I boarded the bus that night
Away from home.

Help me

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This is because one of my other neighbors, Ms.A was worrying about her father today; being old, he had told her that he’d collapse any day; her lament had fuelled today’s poetry.

Help me
Understand the cruel ways
That the world runs upon;
Help me
Overcome my worst fears,
Help me wipe my tears,
Help me
See everything in silence
And to not run away;
Help me
Face all that I have to,
While I turn into a stone
Without emotions,
Numbing my brain,
Freezing my thoughts in place;
Rescue me
From this pain, this sorrow
From the icy cold stabs
Running deep inside;
Leave me not
To suffer alone in the dark,
To fend for myself;
Lend me some love,
Some care,
And tell me you’re always there.

Screaming it out

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This post is written for Mr.K of my neighbouring apartment – after his daughter narrated me a scene from their everyday story. She tells me everything, and I know the K family pretty well.

Every single day
That I see you adjust
For something less
Than you deserve,
Every time
I see you compromise
To something
Without hesitation,
Every moment
That I see
When you go away nonchalantly
Blaming it on fate,
When all this time,
I had been waiting
At your disposal,
I had been waiting to help,
To be utilized,
To be asked a favour;
Each time I know
That you don’t get what you want
Your apathy,
Your silence,
Your evenness
Offers me grief;
If it was possible
To scream
At the top of my voice
As my heart gets torn
Into pieces,
If I could bear the pain,
If I had the strength
To get the shrill cry
Out of my insides,
If I could
With one last deafening cry
Shatter this earth
Into dust,
Taking out all of the pain
And guilt
From inside me,
Then I would.