Home

Here’s a poem that I wrote for my neighbour Mrs.K, overhearing a phone conversation with her daughter:
All I’ve ever wanted

In life

Was to have a home I could go back to –

Cozy and warm,

Where there is no pretense,

Where I can be

My true monstrous self,

Where I can find

Comfort, happiness, peace

And love,

Despite all the hatred that I manage to dump

Upon innocent people;

All I ever wanted 

In life

Is to have one person

Who would care for me

Despite all my flaws,

Who knows me, understands me, 

All my insane thoughts and percepts,

Loves me unconditionally;

And now,

As that one person

Pleads with all her might,

For me to come back,

Yearning for another day with me,

Having a heart made of stone, I deny;

I have everything I’ve ever wanted

And yet nothing.

And as I deny, she pleads even more,

And in every little unhearable beat 

Of my heart,

As every little droplet of blood

Is being pumped out,

One can hear the happiness,

The gratefulness,

Ocean-deep sorrow,

The hurt, the pain,

True love,

The anger, lonesomeness;

Swaying with the rhythm

Of a long-forgotten, woeful song

Sometimes, like the tumultuous waves of the open sea,

My bloodstream rises and falls,

Constricted to the walls of tiny veins,

Unable to rupture and flow free;

And that pressure was able to show me –

I wanna come home, mother,

I really do.

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